Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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