seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
