At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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