I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize