well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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