I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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