he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
