My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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