Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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