Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
