He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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