Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
