Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
