you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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