Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize