Hey man sorry I got all grabby
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dicks are not precious.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
