i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
