New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
