You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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