I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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