k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
