It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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