I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
