Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
