Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
