Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
