He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
