I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
operation harelip BJ is a go
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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