I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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