I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
