idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
