Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
