I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
