So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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