3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
