Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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