how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My pussy is not your playground.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize