Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
