That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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