I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
