I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
