Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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