just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize