we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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