Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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