i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
