god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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