I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
