the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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