Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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