is your mom at the bar?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
