he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
