There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
