everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
