Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
