so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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