I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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