tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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