my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
