Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
