All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
areolas are like halos for boobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
