God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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