how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
