I don't usually arrange sex via text message
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
