I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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