did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
