those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
