If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
