It's like a parade of train wrecks.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
