Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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