Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
