I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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