weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
