It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
