Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
