I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
