I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
