You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
