Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
