People with herpes should wear stickers.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
